


christmas is a drag (sometimes)

by literatureonhowtolose



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ordinary People, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Christmas Tree, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, M/M, Smut, and brendon smol, aren't they kind of ordinary people already, brendon has terrible taste and dallon is a broken man, brendon wanted to decorate dallon instead of the tree, but settled for putting the star on top of it, except dallon had to pick him up bc he tol, okay goodbye merry christmas happy holidays, they are dorks, they are not famous and whatnot, this is very cheesy and then smut pops up like it's nobody's business, well you got it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-08 00:46:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5476916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literatureonhowtolose/pseuds/literatureonhowtolose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dallon and Brendon have been living together for a while.<br/>Now Christmas time has come, and Dallon finds out he wasn't ready for how terrible Brendon is at decking the halls.<br/>He loves him anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	christmas is a drag (sometimes)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, so! I've been wanting to write this fic since December started, and only got the chance to do it now.  
> This is the first time I write directly in english, and I only did it because I had no time to do both the italian version and the english one right away so I had to prioritize.  
> As always, this isn't my first language, and I only had the chance to proof read it once, so please forgive me for any mistakes you might find!  
> I hope this makes you smile.  
> Merry Christmas!

Dallon had always been methodical with his decorations.

It was serious business to him, and honestly, he couldn't understand how it could be anything else to others.

Either do it well or don't do it at all, that was his motto, and he prided himself on being great at it, thank you very much.

Except, how can you keep up the good work when you live with someone who doesn't even know the meaning of the word “moderation”?

Brendon had spent the entire day throwing around random stuff he dared calling “pretty” and “awesome” and “fan-fucking-tastic”, and that to Dallon's eyes was merely a pile of shit.

He did understand just how gay his boyfriend was, and how he needed to let the world know he loved colours and rainbows as much as the next gay guy, but really?

All of that was nuts.

There was no coordination whatsoever, and alright, maybe he was a little ocd, but he knew damn well from experience that three colours were more than enough to keep things classy while still making sure the house was the best looking in the neighbourhood.

He usually chose red, gold and white or blue, white and silver, and God knows how majestic the tree always looked when he was the one to decorate it.

But it was no use fantasizing about it now, because everything was a mess and there was nothing to be done about it.

He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the living room, lazily playing with one of his beloved, forgotten Christmas ornaments, when Brendon chimed in calling for him.

He threw himself on the floor and nearly crushed Dallon's crystal snowflake, causing him to widen his eyes, cover the decoration with both hands, almost scream, and contemplate whether if to kill him or just mutilate him.

Instead of doing either of those things he just closed his eyelids shut and breathed in, because he didn't want to be remembered as the guy who sent his boyfriend to the hospital and/or the morgue over Christmas.

«Dal?» Brendon tried, to no avail.

Dallon was too focused on calming down to aknowledge him.

Brendon frowned and climbed on top of him. He felt him tense up, but he still wouldn't open his eyes.

«Daddy Long Legs?»

«I told you to stop calling me that!» Dallon shouted, suddendly looking at the other one who was too close to his face for it to be a fair fight.

How could he stay mad in those conditions?

Brendon laughed a little and his breath tickled Dallon's lips.

«You know you like it.»

Dallon snorted.

«Yeah, sure», he said, «Bren, just how many gingerbread cookies did you have today?»

Not that it was unpleasant, but it surely was noticeable that he had probably been exaggerating with them.

Brendon rolled his eyes.

«All of them, of course», he answered.

 _Of course_ , Dallon thought.

«It's fucking Christmas, babe!», Brendon exclaimed, shaking the older one by the shoulders.

«Thank you, I noticed!», Dallon replied with the same amount of emphasis, «I just didn't know Christmas meant eating a shitload of gingerbread cookies and decorating the house in the worst way possible!»

Brendon looked at him like he had grown two heads.

«What exactly did you think Christmas was about, then?»

For a moment, there was silence.

«Okay, you got me there», Dallon granted, «But still, if you could _listen_ to me we could make the ornaments look so much nicer and–»

«Shush. There is only one thing left to do.»

Dallon sighed and decided right then and there that giving up would be best for his mental health, so he shrugged as if to ask what was that thing that had yet to be done.

«We have to put the star on the top of the tree!»

Dallon smiled. Finally something he could do himself, without Brendon boycotting his efforts.

He slithered away from under his boyfriend and got up from the floor, then dusted his pants off.

«Alright, gonna do it now», he announced.

But just as he was going to get the star, Brendon sprang up and frantically started screaming “no” over and over until Dallon stopped walking and looked at him quizzically.

«Let me do it» he begged.

Dallon frowned.

«But I'm taller.» he said, matter-of-factly.

«Oh, so you weren't tall enough to be The Christmas Tree», Brendon snapped, referring to that morning when Dallon had declined his inpractical request of decorating him instead of a trite tree that year, «But you are to put the star on top of it.»

Dallon wanted to cry.

He was exhausted. Dealing with Brendon was more difficult than dealing with a five-year-old, at times.

«What do you want me to do, pick you up?»

Brendon hopped over to him.

«Precisely», he confirmed, going to get the star from one of the cardboard boxes that littered the floor.

Dallon groaned loudly.

«You're heavy, Brendon», he whined, even though he didn't really think so.

The younger one lowered his gaze, pointing it at the ornament in his hands.

«Guess I'm not that heavy when you pick me up to fuck me against the wall, or am I?»

Dallon was taken aback by that sudden change of topic. He gulped and tried to stop his mind from wandering in an inappropriate direction but damn, he was only human and his partner was probably a demon from Hell.

Brendon crossed his arms and started looking at him expectantly.

«Point taken», Dallon spat, making the other grin, «Come here, you little shit.»

Brendon got closer and he lifted him up, doing a pirouette before stopping in front of the tree.

He looked at the man he had decided to go live with in the hopes they'd spend the rest of their lives together. Even though he had recently discovered he was even more all over the place than he seemed, Dallon couldn't keep himself from loving him maybe a little too much. So much it hurt, but in the cheesy good way movies talk about.

Brendon put the star where it belonged and voluntarily left it a bit crooked to the left, then turned to look at Dallon.

«Perfect», he said, clearly satisfied with his hard work.

«So not like you», Dallon started saying, causing Brendon to pout like a child, «Fortunately. Otherwise, how boring would it be?»

Brendon laughed. His laugh was always too loud and also kind of ridiculous, but it went well with all of Dallon's quirks, so it was okay.

It was pretty great even, actually.

«That's disgusting! Is this some sort of B-grade Christmas-y rom-com?» Brendon uttered, lacing his arms around Dallon's neck.

Dallon nudged Brendon's nose with his own.

«Maybe it is», he murmured.

Then Brendon gave him a ligt peck and thanked him under his breath.

Instead of putting his boyfriend down, he walked over to the nearest wall and slammed him against it.

Brendon grunted and gave him a look that made clear that he knew there had been a change in the atmosphere.

He crossed his legs around Dallon's waist, lifting his chin up so to give him some space to work on.

Dallon immediately started sucking on the delicate, fair skin of Brendon's neck, while he grabbed at his already messy hair and pushed him as close as possible, moaning non-stop.

Brendon was excessively vocal during sex and telling him to tone it down a notch – which, anyway, wasn't in Dallon's best interests, because those noises? _Holy Fuck_ – only resulted in him screaming louder, when possible.

Dallon bit the newly made, red-purple coloured bruise next to Brendon's Adam's apple, and the other one grinded against him in response.

He readjusted the younger man on his hips – which caused them both to gasp at the sudden friction – and captured his lips with his own.

The kiss was open-mouthed, messy and so very needy. Their kisses always were.

No matter how much time they spent together, if they started getting pissy because of the constant proximity: when they held each other, it felt like coming home.

It rarely was tender. Their love wasn't the kind that fixes you and fits all of your broken pieces back together, it was more of the kind that breaks you both and creates something new out of your shattered souls, blending them until they can't be distinguished anymore.

Brendon started lifting the hems of the Ugly Christmas Sweater he had gotten Dallon the year before, and held himself pressed against the wall while Dallon got rid of it and the t-shirt under it.

He rubbed Dallon's nipples with the palms of his hands, making him breathe heavily. Then he leaned down and licked the right one, drawing a muttered “ _fuck_ ” out of his boyfriend's mouth.

Dallong was grasping at Brendon's ass, and he squeezed whenever the other one sucked at his oversensitive skin. He could feel his dick growing harder with each passing minute and, judging by the way he kept grinding against his lower torso, Brendon was craving release as well.

Dallon put him down and Brendon had to grab his arms to stay up because his legs were literal jelly.

When he felt like he could probably function without holding on to something, he promptly started unbottoning Dallon's jeans and lowering them.

Dallon took over and kicked the jeans away. He returned his gaze to Brendon just in time to see him strip out of sweatpants and boxer briefs at once and stick two fingers inside his mouth.

He kept looking at him right in the eyes while he licked and sucked on them.

Dallon let go of a low moan from the back of his throat and Brendon started getting himself ready with relative ease, which doesn't mean he did it quietly.

With every single one of his groans and choked sobs Dallon felt his dick jump, and he just had to get rid of his briefs and press on his crotch with the heel of his hand to avoid going insane.

«Fucking shit, Brendon», he hissed.

Brendon laughed hoarsely. He loved it when he succeeded in turning elegant, composed Dallon Weekes into a trembling, whimpering mess.

«What are you waiting for?», he asked him, getting the fingers out and watching him intently.

Dallon didn't need anything more than that to take him by the shoulders and turn him around.

He pressed him against the wall and wrapped a hand around his penis, while with the other he aligned his own with his entrance.

He placed a soft kiss on the back of his neck and earned a nod from his part, which was a way of assuring he could go on.

And so he did.

He pushed into Brendon and, as it always happened, his brain stopped working.

It took him a while to calm down enough to get a grip on his surroundings and start thrusting, but once the rhythm was set he was able to stroke Brendon's dick simultaneously, drawing painfully loud screams out of him.

None of them lasted as long as they wanted to.

Everything had happened too fast and there was too much tension, too much desire. It was just too much, all of it.

That was also the reason why both of them came harder than they had in a while, though, so really neither felt like complaining.

They collapsed on the floor right after, Brendon on top of Dallon, and for a moment they just lay there trying to catch their breath.

Then Brendon turned over and kissed Dallon's sweaty temple. Dallon smiled, but didn't open his eyes.

«Plan on thanking me for the wonderful idea I had of being the one to put the star on the tree, this year?»

Dallon laughed and shook his head. _Unbelievable_.

«Thanks, Beebo. What would I do without you?»

«I wonder.»

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry for the terrible smut. I truly am


End file.
